my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
