your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
