either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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