I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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