so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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