So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
