Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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