You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
