her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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