4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
