I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
