Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
