Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
