I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
