I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
