I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
