Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
