On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
