Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
