i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
