hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
