They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
