super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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