OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
