I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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