Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
