how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
