well I can't set my house on fire every night
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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