she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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