I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
