tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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