if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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