oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
