I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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