I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
