you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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