My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
