Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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