She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
