i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
