Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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