Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
