ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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