I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
