Jerry, you need to find god
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So much Jack, so little girl.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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