Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
