I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
