You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
