i just wanna soil my oats bro
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
