Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
