I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
there is puke in my bra ... again
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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