You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
